I feel so confused, should i let my ex be in my babys life?
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Hey i know i already posted this question but i forgot to mention that i am from Ireland and dont know if the terms for getting custody are the same as in America but i would appreciate if ye still gave me your opinions because i feel very alone right now…
So the story is that i was with my ex for over a year before getting pregnant and i thought we loved each other but i clearly thought wrong. When i first told him i was pregnant, he was really supportive. He seemed so excited about becoming a dad and we were picking out baby names but about 2 weeks later, he rang me out of the blue and said that he was freaking out and that i had to choose between him and the baby because we are too young to have a baby( im 21 and he is 23! ).
2 days later I dumped him and told him im keeping the baby! Then a few weeks later, he text me saying that he told his parents and they were accepting of it and then he said to text me if i ever needed him and to keep him up-to date. He also agreed to come to the first scan but when i text him 2 days before the scan to confirm that he was still coming, he never replied and ended up standing me up!
Although he doesn’t seem to care about his child, his mam is very excited about becoming a nana. She visits my house regularly and last week she brought me up a big hamper full of baby stuff so i said i would be nice and ask her did she want to come to my last scan next week with me and my mam and she was delighted and even wrote the date into the calendar on her phone lol.
I asked her would she ask mark if he wanted to come too but she hesitated and said that i should text him so i text him last night and politely asked him( it was the first time i text him in 4 months ) did he want to come to my 32 week scan since its my last one but he just replied `no i wont be at it`. This pissed me off because he didn’t even have the courtesy to contact me during all of my pregnancy to ask about his child so i wrote back a long message saying how he would want to cop on and take responsibility and he just text back `ya well i have work` so i replied saying how i feel sorry for my child having a deadbeat dad like him and he goes `don’t mind getting snappy with me, cya`. This actually caused me to burst out crying to think that he didnt give a **** about his baby that i feel kicking everyday. He has a new girlfriend who he is dating only 3 months and i have a feeling she is the one telling him not to go to the scans/ contact me.
His mother said to leave him off and have his freedom while he still can because she knows he will get his act together when he sees the baby and she said that we will have to be civil for our childs sake but i dont think i can ever talk to that boy again….what would ye do in my situation???!
So my question is, I was wondering is there anyway that i can get full custody of my baby since he is treating me so bad even though i want his mam to be in her grandchilds life?
Also, can i pick the babys godmother AND godfather or does the babys father legally have the right to pick one of them??
Thanks 
Personalized Baby Hamper
Build Your Earth-Friendly Nursery
Yes, it’s his baby too – children needs a mon an dad, don’t deny them that. It goes further than your selfish attitude.
Baby Ornaments
I don’t know about the legalities in Ireland, but godparents are up to whoever gets the baby christened. Talk to your priest.
Personalized Baby Hamper
thing is though if you deny him any rights to the child. when your baby grows up and asks why he or she never got to see there daddy, you will have to say i stopped him from seeing you. at least if you give the father a chance you can turn around and say to the child i gave your father plenty of chances to see you and he just let you down. so in the end i decided in your best interest enough was enough.
Build Your Earth-Friendly Nursery
I dont know how your system works, but in the US, if the father doesnt want to be the father or take responsibility for the child, you can ask that his parental rights are terminated. Then you would have full custody by yourself. That would be what I would do, especially since he doesnt want any thing to do with the child. The child will have to be born first and, if his rights are terminated you wont be able to collect child support… which you could mention to him when you ask him about it, so he thinks its going to be saving him some thing. Also, once parental rights are removed, especially if he voluntarily relinguishes them, he cant ask for them back later on. And yes, then you could pick godparents yourself.
Godparents are really supposed to be who raises your kid in the event you die before they are 18. So, if you are picking them just for titles sake it wont matter. But, if you are going to make them a guardian in the event you die, he would obviously have first dibs to the child if his rights arent terminated.
I dont know if you can seek child support in Ireland BUT if he doesnt voluntarily give up his parental rights take him to court and demand support for your child.
And, if he doesnt relinguish support, think of the child and allow him to be a part of the childs life regardless of how shitty you know he really is, unless he proves detrimental or harmful to your child in some way. As, every child deserves contact with their parent so long as that contact doesnt harm them.
Good luck!