She talks and sings, and posts Youtube videos…

all 22 of my cats are creating an anarchist army to overthrow the pit bulls across the fence

Buddy was recently kicked out of his Boot Camp/Fitness program for steroid use, and well, sadly, he’s gone to seed and is now sporting a beer belly. We are trying to get him motivated to return to school, but he seems to want to do nothing more than sit on the couch, take a few hits from the ‘nip bong and play X-box games.

Blue is a much more cultured cat. She has taken up fashion design and merchandising. Lately, she has shown a propensity for sitting on my purses (always picking the highest quality leather, and sometimes annointing said purse with an upchuck of approval). She is thrilled that her hyperthyroid condition has taken her from a chunky monkey to a sleek and svelte Kate Moss-like figure, thereby allowing her runway career to take off. She said she is working on her latest design for humans — shoes apparently — but she won’t say why she wants them to be made from cement … hmmm.

Silent Alarm (pricks me gently with her claws until I’m too annoyed to remain in bed)

Not Silent Alarm (no explanation required)

Hall Monitor (motto: Making Narrow Passages Even Narrower Since the Dawn of Time)

Health Hazard (I’m undr ur feet, waytyn fer u 2 tripp)

The Epitome of Cuteness (flops on floor, draws paws up under chin, gazes beguilingly)

Minor roles, with one line each:
— Demanding: YOW
— Inquisitive: Mrooop?

My cat thinks she’s the weenie dog slayer. =0)