Am I justified or am I just over reacting?
By
My MIL watches my daughter all week while I have to work. Hubby lost his job so he’s home as well. Even though dads home grandma still wants to watch the baby, which is fine with me.
Anyways, every time they go out to the stores during the day my MIL always comes back with something for the house. Last month they went to goodwill and came home with a dining table !!! with no chairs and didn’t match any of my furniture. Their logic behind it was oh it was only $20 I was pissed about it, had a good talk with hubby.
Last week she brought over teething cookies, even though I told her I would need to talk to her ped. first. Coz, even though my daughter has her 4 front teeth, she can not chew chunky foods yet.
Yesterday she came home with a cheap hamper for the baby’s room, claiming that the room will look organized. I already ordered a little ducky hamper, coz my daughter loves ducks.
Would all this bother you or am I just over reacting. I try to let things slide, but it seems like she’s undermining everything i’m doing in my own house and for the baby !!!
Maybe I am over reacting a little bit, I’m sure she had good intentions when she was buying me those things. I guess I just need to find a nice way of letting her know not to waste her money on things I don’t need.
As far as the dining table, I didn’t want one and I made that very clear coz we don’t have the room.
Shopping for a Really Unique Baby Gift?
Build Your Earth-Friendly Nursery
No i don’t think you are over reacting about the teething biscuits and you probably needed the $20 rather than a table with no chairs since your hubby lost his job. The hamper thing she probably didn’t know you already ordered one but she shouldn’t of thrown in the organized bit!!! Good Luck.
Baby Gifts Under $25
Honestly, it doesn’t sound like a big deal to me. The dining room table could be resold(you could make some money off it) or brought back to Goodwill. I don’t know why you’d need the go ahead for teething cookies from your pediatrician. And you could use the hamper elsewhere in the house(cheap or not!). We have a hamper in our room, one in our son’s room, but I’d still like one in the laundry room.
It sounds like she’s trying to help and that is all. Now if she were undermining your parenting style then I could understand where you are coming from. If it’s REALLY bothering you then sit down and tell her not to buy things for your house any longer. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, though, and this one doesn’t sound like one I’d open a can of worms over.
Build Your Earth-Friendly Nursery
It sounds like she is just trying to help, but not being successful at it. I would just say thank you, except the gift and then have a garage sale later. It could be worse, she could want nothing to do with the baby like my MIL.
Build Your Earth-Friendly Nursery
It would bother me, but i think you are overreacting a tad. I think she has good intentions, It doesn’t sounds like she is trying to undermine you, but I would question why she is watching your daughter when your husband is home and could do it, that would be my biggest problem.
Personalized Baby Hamper
I see where you’re coming from, shes sort of stealing moments from you by buying things for baby. However; the teething cookies are fine, my son doesn’t have ANY teeth and he can munch on those all day. The cookies get really soggy and melt in the mouth so they aren’t a choking hazard. I wouldn’t burn bridges over free gifts, especially since shes going to be a part of your life forever, whether you like it or not.
Baby Ornaments
Ahh mother in laws…
Yes, I would be incredibly aggravated. I would take all that crap back to goodwill and when she asks you where it is, say oh its nothing personal and I value your opinion, I just already had plans for these items.
Baby Gear
You’re husband not only needs to be on the same page but also needs to step up and say, thanks, mom, but we’ve got things taken care of, for the most part. When MIL’s don’t seem to take hints from you, the babies mother and their DIL, then THEIR child needs to address the situation. Unfortunately it’s not an easy thing for most guys to do, but they need to grow up realize their family should come first. Keep trying to talk to him about it. Sometimes it takes a lot of Good Talks with those guys. I’d also wonder why the MIL is watching your child and not daddy… Unless he’s job hunting, but that doesn’t take ALL day…???
Baby Gifts Under $25
A little bit of both. She is just trying to help, but i you are anything like me, I find something wrong in my MIL all the time because she just gets on my nerves. But, she is doing you a favor by watching your baby, Just deal with it for now, unless she comes home with a puppy or something. lol.
Baby Ornaments
she is overstepping her boundaries for you. i would react the same way. she does not live in your house so it is not her place to buy things for your house without your permission. try talking to her about it explaining that you appreciate the gesture but you would prefer her not to do it again without talking to you first.
Shopping for a Really Unique Baby Gift?
it’s your house so no matter how much good she does for you you’ll be annoyed with her interfering. Some mothers are irrational and no matter how much you ask them to respect your decisions they’ll do what they want regardless. So try and speak with her respectfully on how you feel but it might not work,b ut remember you have to **** it up she’s family and something like this is not worth creating a huge family argument.
Baby Gear
1] first, talk to your husband. It is your house [ BOTH of you ]; and you should BOTH pick out items for it – together.
2] If he doesn’t care, fine; but you do – so NO MORE SURPRISES!!
3] I **** surprises for my house too.. My husband has learned that – the hard way.
4] YOU get to start any new foods – YOU are the mom.
Baby Gear
No not really it would bother me as well, maybe she is trying to be helpful and trying to save you money…
My own mother tries to organize my life for me sometimes but I just put my foot down when it is something I feel strongly about…
Dont let the little things niggle at you, when your new hamper comes give the old one to your MIL same with the table say it doesnt fit or it just doesnt suit, if she wants to buy bargain specials let her have them lol I think she will stop..
Its a bit hard though as she looks after your daughter but she has to respect your wishes if she still wants to look after the baby
Shopping for a Really Unique Baby Gift?
i am not quite sure abou this, but you can visit this wallpapers site to learn more:
Shopping for a Really Unique Baby Gift?
tell her she bought it , she keeps it. you dont need any of it.
Baby Gifts Under $25
Hmmm….. well, I can totally understand where you are coming from. Its not that you are ungrateful for these things, but it would be nice to pick out what you want or need.
I know the feeling. My husbands family dumps all kinds of stuff on me. It really can be bothersome because everything I own is all things I was given, not picked out, and it doesn’t always serve teh purpose I need and its hard to coordinate a bunch of miss matched furniture into a smaller sized home.
I try and explain to them, in a nice manner, that I won’t be needing anymore things, but sure enough, I see my MIL coming over with a big lamp in here hand or a end table, it gets to the point where it gets old. Every time you clean out the house you don’t need to bring me your discarded items.
I always tell them to donate these things to a charity or to For Goodness sakes, to people that actually need these things. I assume they think it is easier to just dump this stuff on me and let me get rid of it. But the thing that really ***** is we only have cars, and they all have trucks, and its hard for me to get rid of all this stuff.
My basement is packed full of stuff I didn’t want or ask for.
As far as the teething cookies, just donate them some where like to the food pantry. Tell her they didn’t work out for her, so she won’t buy more.
I know your position. Its hard to say to much because you don’t want to be ungrateful, but on the other hand, it can get a little annoying.
Good luck, when you find the perfect solution, I am all ears, as I have been dealing with this very same problem for some time now!
Baby Gifts Under $25
Just tell your husband to tell her you really don’t need anything else. My in laws had a habit of giving us junk they got free or stuff from their house they didn’t want. So it would collect in our house in the basement.
The problem is if you try to sell the stuff she will ask what happened to it. Just tell your husband you don’t need anything else and tell him to tell her that while you appreciate the thought, to please stop buying things.
If your husband refuses to tell her to stop then you will have to do it yourself.
Personalized Baby Hamper
Personalized Baby Hamper
It would bother me-It’s one thing to help when it’s not asked for, but when you’ve talked to her about it and made it clear that you aren’t lookng for a hand out, and that you are perfectly capable of buying stuff for yourself, she should respect that and bug off.
Personalized Baby Hamper
my mil is a very sweet woman, but she has a ’shopping addiction’ (my diagosis of course)…i am not ungrateful and don’t want to appear that way, but every time she comes, she brings a bunch of clothes, shoes, whatever for my dd; i have explained many times that we don’t need that much stuff and we don’t have room to store it …but she brings so much, i dont’ think she remembers half of it; i pick out what i like and the rest goes to charity…it’s helpful, but at the same time, i do like to sometimes pick clothes that I LIKE for my dd; so i have just learned to smile and say thank you and do what i please with all the stuff….
Baby Gifts Under $25
Can we swap mother in laws, yours sounds great, I wish mine gave a stuff, shes never bought us anything. I think you are over reacting, shes just trying to be helpful. Sounds like she enjoys it, let her have that.